Hi Miss Alice
by Samzulrich
Summary: Crossover fanfic based on a weird dream I had. It follows "dream logic" so most of it doesn't make sense.


**Dreams are another world.**

"Hey, Alice!" Asuka whispered from her desk next to mine. "Are you as excited as I am for today?"

"Why? What's today?" I couldn't remember anything special happening today.

"I thought I told you! Today the club is going to have a special guest!" She winked.

"What kind of guest? Not another cat, right? You remember what happened last time, right?" She ignored me. Last month, Asuka brought a stray cat to the clubroom. It scratched everything up and peed in Angel's tea.

"Oh, you should know him very well. He's dreamy, wears colorful kimonos, and has two different colored eyes."

"Any male lead from a CLAMP manga?"

"You're partially right." She took a small breath. "It's only Kimihiro Watanuki! I would have thought you'd catch on right away!" I didn't bother to question why a manga character was suddenly real, nor did I care. Watanuki was my idol, and our entire club adores him. Aside from Angel, that is. She's a weird girl, but we include her in our activities regardless. I find her intriguing.

"Then he's coming to our clubroom today?" I basically screamed. I jumped out of my seat a little too.

"Please quiet down, Alice. Unless you'd like to teach the class yourself." The teacher scolded.

"That fine, Sensei! I'm okay!" I sat back down, embarrassed.

"Meet us outside the clubroom right after school. We're all going to meet him together." Asuka whispered.

I spent the rest of the day not really listening to anything sensei said. Even when he called on me to answer a question, I just played dumb. I wanted to get school over with as quickly as possible so I could go and meet my Idol-sama. All four of us, the club members that is, met outside the clubroom door. There was Asuka and I, but also Angel and Ayaka.

"Is it time, then?" Angel asked.

"Yes, but who should be the one to open the door?" Asuka questioned.

"I think it should be Alice." Ayaka said.

"I agree. There isn't anyone who adores Watanuki more." Asuka stated.

"We are in agreement then. Please do, Alice." Angel monotonously spoke.

"Okay, Okay I'll do it then." I placed my hand on the knob and turned. Then suddenly we were all blown backwards by a gigantic explosion. Strangely I felt no heat from it. As we clamored to get to our feet Ayaka yelled,

"Is everyone okay?" Followed by "I'm fine!" and "Yes. I'm quite all right."

As we regrouped by the door I pulled my laptop out to try and figure out what happened. I navigated menus and hacked my way into the school's mainframe. It said that the door is being blocked by a virus. I tried to erase the virus by rubbing the screen with my eraser, but to no avail. The word didn't even disappear. Something interesting happened though. I somehow got an idea into my head.

"It said that someone named Suzumiya Haruhi is the key to opening the door." I spoke after shutting my computer off and leaving it next to the clubroom.

"I know her! She's that maniac who runs that club! What's it called, errm, the SOS Brigade! She's a nut. I remember last year she dressed her whole club up in playboy bunny outfits and handed out flyers. Then at the school festival she sang for that band since their singer couldn't. Anyway, she's probably in that clubroom right now!" Ayaka rambled. She has a tendency to do that.

"Then let's go find her and open this damn door!" I yelled. The way there led us through the cafeteria, where we lost one of our members.

"Mapo Tofu…." Angel stared at her plate, mesmerized.

"Come on, Angel! We've got to find Haruhi!" I reasoned. She simply continued to drool over the plate.

"We lost her." Asuka said plainly. "Come on, we haven't got the time. Leave her. We'll come back." As we rushed out we heard her quietly say,

"Itadikimasu!" I couldn't believe she could even eat such a spicy dish, let alone enjoy it.

We ventured to the SOS Brigade clubroom, which was actually the Literature Club's room. Through chemical pits with zombies, flying through the clouds, and other acid-tripping trials, we finally made it. Exhausted, we opened the door.

"And who do you think you are that you can just barge into MY clubroom." A shrill-voiced yet cute brunette yelled at us.

"Let me handle this." Asuka whispered to me. "We have a case for you, Haruhi-chan."

"As I've said to you before, I'm not interested unless it involves something supernatural." Haruhi scoffed.

"This time I think it does. You see there's a door that won't open. Out clubroom's door. We think you can open it." Asuka explained. One of the SOS Brigade members, a small purple-haired girl, moved from a foldout chair to the computer. I don't think anyone else besides me and another SOS brigade member noticed. He went over to talk to her. Suddenly I felt like I was standing over them because I could hear what they were saying.

"What is it, Nagato?" The one called Kyon asked her.

"I am requesting data from the Data Integration Thought Entity Overmind." Nagato Yuuki replied in a very quickly-spoken statement, as if she had prepared the speech beforehand.

"It just looks like you're using Google."

"That is the illusion I am creating for Haruhi."

"I see." Kyon sighed. He watched the data pop up on the screen, and was amazed at the school's previous headmasters. Apparently, I look just like our last one. Then I was returned to my own body the second after I left it, so that I could also hear our conversation with Haruhi.

"If I find a way to open this door, I will require payment." Haruhi said arrogantly.

"Anything you want!" I exclaimed. "Just open it!"

"Whatever. Koizumi and Mikuru are out, and Nagato has to stay here. Kyon!" She bellowed.

We all journeyed back to our clubroom's door, picking up Angel along the way. She had finished her plate and was looking around for us when we got there. We all assembled in front of the door. Haruhi looked at the door from every possible angle. Then brought in Kyon to do the heavy lifting, as usual. I didn't question how I knew that was the usual.

"Kyon! Try to open the door." She ordered. Kyon tugged at the doorknob, but it didn't budge. Haruhi then tried it herself, but to no avail.

"Man, I wish this door would open." Haruhi sighed. She kicked it nonchalantly then began to walk away. She stopped when the door opened. Of course this would happen. Whatever Haruhi wishes for, whether subconscious or not, she gets. Once again, I didn't question how I knew this.

We all rushed inside to explore the room for anything unusual. That's what everyone else did, anyway. I was trying to find my beloved Kimihiro-kun. Much to my dismay, he was nowhere to be found.

"I'm sorry, Alice." Ayaka consoled.

"Now, about my payment." Haruhi said. She was ignored; however, for the next second Angel found a note.

"I think it's for you, Alice." She handed it to me. It was a piece of paper that had been folded in half. On the outside was a signature I instantly recognized as Watanuki's. I almost tore open the note and read it aloud:

"Hi Miss Alice. I'm sorry I couldn't stay but my time ran out. Doumeki came to the shop today with some sake and I had to make sure Mokona didn't drink all of it. Anyway, I must congratulate you on passing! This was all a dream, yes, but also a test. You should be used to tests, right? You passed by the way. –Watanuki."

I started crying as I could feel my surroundings fading from my vision. I was being pulled out of my dream. I woke up in my room, out of breath. I pinched myself to make sure this wasn't one of those dream-within-a-dream things. I looked around at all of the posters on my wall. One was of Watanuki from XxXHoLiC, one was of Haruhi and Kyon from The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi, and the third was of Angel, or Kanade Tachibana, from Angel Beats!

Then, I took a deep breath and dragged myself out of bed, and got ready for my day at work as the headmaster of an all girl school. I had completely forgotten the dream I just had, as what usually happens. From then on, life went on as usual.

**Author's Notes:**

**While it is based on a dream I had, I woke up right as they opened their clubroom's door. I felt it deserved an ending, though.**


End file.
